I have been in a battle to get equality in my case for a long time. We started going to court 3

years ago and I'm still fighting for some sort of help from the court system. My battle started with

my ex wife when she left with my kid and my step son when I was in the military. I couldn't leave

because I was in the military and at the time I didn't know my rights as a father. Nobody really

knows what to do because this isn't normal. We made plans too to co parent where we wer

living but she still left with the kids. I didn't care about my relationship with her but I wanted to be

with my boys and she took that away from me.

    So when I finally got out I went back to California to be with my kids. When I got back my kid

and my step son stayed with me from April 15- November 21. They were with me 80% of the

time. On the 21st of November my ex met up with me to take my son because she wanted him

during the Thanksgiving weekend. The following week when I was suppose to pick him up she

disappeared. She didn't answer my calls or text messages so when I contacted her grandmother

she told me she moved away. For over 3 months I did everything to locate her and did everything

to try and get my kid back. It was the most stressful time in my life not knowing if my child was

okay. I spent the holidays alone just thinking about when I will see him again. After filing to get

custody the court system decided to slap her on the hands and give us 50/50 without addressing

the issue. It was very upsetting for me because of what I went through but I was glad that I had

my son back so I tried to move on.

    After a couple months my ex wife started breaking the court order we had. She started to make

excuses on the days when we would meet up to do our exchanges so she wouldn't have to drive.

She lives 4 hours away so there were times I would go there drop him off and pick him up just so

I can have my time with him. She still gave me a hard time even when I helped her by driving all

the way there. One time she gave me an address to Safeway instead of her address to pick up

my son. That and just driving there took a toll on me so I filed papers again to get the courts to

make her follow the court order. The court again slap her hands and decided to send us to

mediation to work on a new court order.

    After a couple months I had to go back to school. I contacted her to make a new schedule so

we wouldn't have to have the courts involved. We couldn't come up with a schedule because she

told me she was working every single day. So I had to file again. When we went to mediation I

told the mediator about what happened and she told me that I lied and that her schedule was

open. It was very frustrating and even though I had save the conversation nobody cared to look at

them to tell her to stop lying and being difficult. After that we then again had a new court order.

I also tried getting CPS involved because my son had came home with a black eye, a bruised

chest, and my step son told me that he was being abused by my ex bf. All investigation came

inconclusive even though the guy I was accusing of child abuse had domestic violence and

assault in his records. I felt that CPS never fully did their investigation so I tried going through the

court system for help and all they did was send us to mediation.

Mediation is suppose to be a time where we can talk but all she does is lie because anything

discussed in mediation cant be used in court. When we were in mediation she admitted to the

mediator that she was anti-vaccine but in court she said I was lying. Its very hard to go through a

battle with someone who is a compulsive liar and then the system allows it.

I have been documenting everything and keeping every text we had. I really thought I had enough

to win my case from her. From her disappearing and taking off with the kids twice. From not

giving me simple information like day care, who’s taking care of my kid, doctor information and

just needing to have a mediator in front of me to tell her to tell me these things I thought I had

enough. She never followed any of our court orders like not being where she was suppose to be

or changing the location of out meeting spot. Her history of losing her first child from neglect and

her bf being charged with domestic violence. They didn't have anything on me and I still lost. I still

live in the same house I grew up in. She has been moving constantly and I still lost. i'm a veteran

and nursing graduate and current student with a house and no criminal record and still lost.

 

We have a new court order now and she still doesn't follow it. When I drove 4 hours away to have

lunch with my son for an hour she called the cops on me. She lied to them and told them we had

a court order that stated I couldn't take him out for anything. I can’t even have lunch with my son

without her calling the police. Then a couple weeks ago I go to our meeting spot an she is over 2

hours late. Then when I facetime with my son she turns it off if she hears him call my gf mommy. I

can't even have my Facetime time with my son without her disconnecting us. I don't know what to

do because I feel like she can do whatever she wants to me. She knows she wont get into any

trouble. All I want is the court system to hold her accountable for her actions. If you break the

court order the courts should fine her but nothing. For almost 3 years I been searching for

answers. I have been following every court order and she has been breaking them. I honestly

don't know what to do because I feel like the system doesn't want to hear what I have to say. I

know my story is all over the place but this is just part of it. There is so much more. Right now I';m

thinking of filing for contempt and dropping my attorney because he doesn't want me to file for

contempt. He told me nothing is going to happen and he is probably right but what else can I do.

If you have any advice Ill take it... Thank you and thank you for what you guys are doing and

spreading.

 

California